#‘but you made the perfect villain identity so we’re just gonna…snatch that since you aren’t using it’

[theshadowrealmitself]

A fun fact about our lovely spider-punk Hobie that I don't think a lot of people know is that he's in the comics at least an alternate universe Miles, and I think that's really really cool.

Like I have thoughts about it that I can't really explain but seriously. Can you imagine the possibilities if that was also a spider-verse thing!? Like I didn't know it until my dad, the massive comic nerd he is told me after we watched the movie but it's such cool to think about in general!

Forgive me for gushing in your inbox lol <3

I did not know that unfortunately!!

(My main knowledge of Hobie outside atsv is how he was originally the Prowler before deciding to become a hero and then retire for his family’s safety, or it was the other way around where he retired but then decided to make a hero identity? it’s been awhile, anyways, this poor dude kept getting his suit stolen repeatedly by people wanting to be villains 😭)

That’s really cool tho, I wonder what the comic Miles he knows is like compared to the movie Miles he knows??

Something something the connection between Miles and the Prowler and the connection between the Prowler and Spiderman something something

[moonlightwinterdxxix]

Here again with a story idea 😂 A day where all the brothers have plans for to go out but there's sudden expected construction work outside their house so they literally can't leave?!? (Let's assume the Matsu parents didn't think their NEETS really had anything to do outdoors that day so they didn't bother to informing them about it haha) Maybe either a hilarious series of escape events or forced family bonding time? 😂

Ah, @yisongye Here it is!! 😂😂 I hope you enjoy my interpretation of this very interesting 2020 experience 🤣🤣🤣

~~~

The bedroom door slid open and slammed against the wall, and he screamed out, “Hey, guys! Guess what!”

Karamatsu raised his chin from the hand mirror, smirking. “Yes, my dear older brother Osomatsu? What might you have upon you as to call for your excitement?”

“There’s this really big gamble that’s gonna happen in Pachinko today from a visitor!” Osomatsu informed, a pair of fists rocking in his exhilaration. “And here’s the big deal: she’s a chick! A very pretty one too! I have no idea what she would want as a penalty aside from money but I’m dead-set on challenging her!” Osomatsu flushed, sultry in a green fantasy. “Ooh man, oh boy, I’m not just gonna give her a run on her money! I’m gonna challenge her into having s** with me!” He laughed maniacally, a predator’s villainous cackle.

Todomatsu scoffed in amusement, rolling his eyes. “Well, try as hard as you want. You’ll never succeed—you’ll be a virgin NEET forever.” He angled his phone, checking himself in the selfie feature of his camera. “On the other hand, there’s a very nice girl that Atsushi informed me will come to the mixer. I’m planning on going out to buy myself a nice new jacket later so I can look nicer come Friday. There is a sale at the mall, after all, so I wouldn’t want to miss it.”

“Can that beat my luck though?” Choromatsu boasted, popping the collar of his green shirt. “I managed to get VIP passes to Nyaa-chan’s concert. So all of you might be hopeful, but I’m meeting my cat idol in a few hours. So weep in your misery, everyone. Your Choromatsu is going forth into another world.”

“Heh,” Karamatsu retorted, narrowing a perpetually theatrical gaze. “Might I remind you first, my brother. Fap none of the dazzling women that might catch your eye, no? Set a good example to all of your brothers, non?”

With his smile wilting, Choromatsu sputtered as his face went rosy. “Wh-Wh—You shut the hell up, Shittymatsu! I know stuff, you moron!”

“Heh! Good for you, brother! For my luck shines upon me like it came from heaven itself!” Karamatsu flashed them his teeth, touching an eyebrow with two fingers. “You see, my brother, my day too flows with the passionate love from Akatsuka-sensei himself! Today I have been welcomed passage into the core of Akatsuka Ward itself, and I am to meet with a lady of whom I blind date for us was set! Hm, I thank Chibita for his kind heart, how could I have known that he would know such a precious soul—BOEHH!”

Ichimatsu slammed the back of Karamatsu’s head with an unplugged iron, and Karamatsu tumbled down onto the floor. “I bet your sorry ass that you’ll be meeting up with a dishwasher, you piece of crap.”

Jyushimatsu hollered out, “As fun as meeting with girls sounds nice, me and Ichi-nii decided to go to Sealand instead! There’s this annual dolphin show that happens every so often, and after attending it once I decided to invite him to the next one! I spent my entire allowance on getting us front-row tickets, so he has a nice experience when watching the show! The dolphins are always trained so well, once I had a dream of wanting to be one too.”

Ichimatsu grinned slightly, amused. “Hm, and after that I’ll be taking Jyushimatsu to the cat shelter. I’ve made an appointment to adopt one of the cats there—Mom and Dad already let me. She’s a very young one, about two months old, found beside a river where she almost drowned. I felt bad for her and decided to keep her so she doesn’t drown herself again. Her name’s Kawa, and she’s a plain white one. I hope she likes it here at the household with me.”

“Awwww~” the collective chorus of his brothers cooed lovingly, and Ichimatsu flushed bright pink and turned away with his hands smashed to his ears.

“Shut up! Stop shedding attention to my shitty life!” Ichimatsu exclaimed miserably.

“Either way, it seems that all of us have plans for today,” Choromatsu laughed, over from his former humiliation as he shrugged his backpack on entirely. “Anyway I need to go now. The arena could get pretty crowded if I came in much later than twelve.”

Osomatsu darted his gaze to the clock to Choromatsu then back again. “But it’s eight-thirty.”

“The earlier the better.” Choromatsu lifted his shoulders, chuckling. “Perhaps I can eat lunch while waiting too. Can’t watch a concert with an empty stomach. We need energy for screaming at the top of our lungs.”

“As if you don’t do that everyday already,” Osomatsu murmured, but remained unheard.

To Choromatsu, “Yeah, I agree,” Todomatsu said, standing up from the couch and patting his pants. “I’d better get to the mall early before it gets too crowded. I mean, sales are still sales, aren’t they? I don’t wanna be stuck in a traffic of people before I see something pretty.” He directed himself towards the cabinet and rummaged through the pockets of one of his hoodies, grabbing his wallet and stashing it into his current pants. “Yep. Imma go for now. See you all later?”

“Yeah, sure!” Jyushimatsu exclaimed, waving. “Later! Have fun!”

“Kiss Reika for me, okay, Fappymatsu?” Osomatsu derided, the curves of his features smug.

Choromatsu scoffed in reply as Todomatsu tittered, and then the bedroom door shut as Choromatsu and Todomatsu exited.

A minute passed.

And then...

“EEEHHH???!!!”

The rest of the Matsuno household were already out the bedroom and down the stairs, sliding into sudden halts as they saw Choromatsu and Todomatsu frozen in front of their door. They were both with mouths so rounded that their jaws were on the floor, their eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. Their fingers were spread out from their hands at their sides, legs parted.

“Totty? What’s wrong?” But then all the other four were soon to realize it, and with matching, elongated yells all six were better classified with the term ‘identical’ as they all sported the same gawking, disbelieved expressions.

In front of their front door, the ground was a literal swimming pool of wet cement. Across that, there were careless-of-them construction workers with complete top-volume cranes and drillers, the workers saluting each other and bearing wide blueprints as long as a man was tall. This occupied the front porch all the way to their gate, nearly tore down completely, now granting the brothers a perfect view of Matsuyo and Matsuzo as they stared at their own sons, a pair of shopping bags dangling from their mother’s arms.

“Wh...” The first with a voice managing to come out his lips, Choromatsu averted his gaze to their parents. “Mom?! What in bloody hell is this?!”

“Ah, that!” Matsuyo laughed, unbothered in the slightest by the unexpected construction. “It’s just a bit of construction, my NEETs! I didn’t think I needed to tell you since you can handle yourselves, but never mind that! Don’t worry! It’ll only be about three days until you can go outside the house again.”

“Three days?!” Osomatsu exclaimed, face contorting in horror. “But that sexy-chick gambler will leave the city in three days!”

After shooting his brother a pointed look, Karamatsu yelled out the more proper response to their mother’s statement, “How are we supposed to leave the house?! And how are you two getting back in?!”

“Ah, don’t worry about us,” Matsuzo said, chuckling lightheartedly. “We booked a stay at the hotel about a week ago because we knew about this. Plus we bought a ton of groceries last week, so the fridge was practically an entire factory of sushi and takoyaki. I’m still surprised that there was only about a shelf left of it before we left the house three hours ago.”

“Th-That was our storage?!” Todomatsu sputtered. “Our food?!”

“Gee, I wonder where all of it went,” Ichimatsu sarcastically drawled, maliciously digging a dagger-sharp gaze against Jyushimatsu, who had gone from pale to red in a matter of seconds through the transition of realization to shame.

“No, we can’t survive this!” Osomatsu protested, gesturing wildly at the commotion lining each space of their front. “Mom! Dad! This is worse than suicide! No, we need to get out of this house! You can’t expect us to stay locked in here the entire three days, do you?! We’re your sons! You know that!”

“And we’re your parents,” Matsuyo retorted, her glare making Osomatsu and his brothers all shrink. “And you know well enough that we hate it when you have no consciences. This is punishment for illegally performing on the streets a month ago just to get money for a fish sale for Totoko’s sake! Grow up! Cod, you’re all a bunch of oversized children. You’re lucky we still gave you a storage of takoyaki.” Turning her nose up, she said, “Let’s go, Matsuzo-dear. We have that specialized screening on that one movie, right?”

“Of course, darling,” Matsuzo said devilishly, internally guffawing at his son’s anxieties. “Shall we?” He extended his arm.

“My pleasure.”

All six began yelling in unison as their parents began walking away, striding off with the pride of victory and the blessing of their lack of child tomfoolery. The brothers all tumbled down defeatedly on the floor, groaning in exasperation. It was Jyushimatsu who remained standing, mind calculative as his pupils dilated and his mouth was covered by a hand. Then...

“I think I can make that jump.”

“Ah, I see you wanna die early,” Todomatsu chortled groggily, unimpressed. “Ichimatsu-niisan, take notes. Your medal’s been snatched.”

“No!” Jyushimatsu contradicted. “I think I can make that jump! Then when I do, I’ll get all of you a ladder or something so you can get across.”

“Sure, I believe you,” Osomatsu said casually, pouting. “You’re the same guy who can turn into a living Jyushimatsu virus. If you can jump that gorge of death then go for it.”

“Idiots, it won’t work,” Choromatsu finalized, crossing his arms. “He won’t make it. Trust me.”

~~~

“Or not. Of course. I rest my case.”

Preparing himself, Jyushimatsu bent his legs.

“On three, Jyushimatsu,” Ichimatsu announced. “One...two...three!”

Jyushimatsu bolted, and with the speed of a fictional being he raced across the entire room until his feet were no longer on the ground, and he was hovering in the air, his shadow overlapping gray as his form paralleled the top of their doorframe. He was only by the first half of the entire cement pool when gravity played its part and tugged him downwards.

With his arms up, Jyushimatsu yelled out a stainless ���BOEHBAA!!”, only stopping when a cross-crossed surface dug into his butt and he was pulled back into the house.

And dropped on the floor with a thud, tilting his head towards Todomatsu and the butterfly net he had in his hands. “Thanks, Totty.”

“I told you it won’t work,” Choromatsu grouched.

“Work or not, where was this butterfly net from?” Todomatsu questioned, scratching his head in confusion.

Jyushimatsu said, “I also got it from Dayon’s stomach.”

Todomatsu immediately panicked, dropping the net and struggling for the closest sink.

“Aha! I have a new plan!” Karamatsu extolled, spreading his arms wide. “My brothers, this plan of mine is guaranteed to entrance our grand exit! Be amazed, my brothers! We shall be able to access our hopes and dreams on finding the romance, enjoyment, and entertainment that our lives have waited for! My brothers, join me!” He began spinning around dramatically, a hand sailing to his back pocket for a rain of rose petals that he sprayed over the floor. “Grab a pen, and wonderful stationary. We are writing letters.”

Everyone stared at him dumbfounded, except for Ichimatsu, who bluntly said, “Kill me now.”

Minutes later, all six of them were gathered around the living room table, color-coded papers assigned to each brother. At the center of the table was a pack of markers, as well as some glitters none of them (but Karamatsu, apparently) knew they even had. At the head of the table, Karamatsu smirked at them, a finger-gun connected to his jawline as his sunglasses hid his dancing eyes. “Now, pick up a pen,” he instructed.

They all did, grabbing the marker colored with the hue of the sibling closest to them. Karamatsu picked last, raising his pink marker. “Step two, revisit your talents in mastery. Perfect, swooping calligraphy, as a dazzling prince such as us possesses.”

“Bro, I failed art class because of calligraphy,” Osomatsu deadpanned.

“Now,” Karamatsu pronounced as if no one had spoken, “Take the tip of your pen to the page. Then with the watery softness of a fountain, draw the letter ‘I’.”

Though hesitant, everyone followed.

“Good, my brothers. Next, add a space. Then, the letter ‘L’.”

They obeyed.

“Brothers, the letter ‘O’.”

They complied.

“The letter ‘V—”

“Karamatsu-niisan, what’s the message you’re making us write?” Choromatsu asked bluntly.

“Um...” Karamatsu made a heart with his hands, smiling boldly, “It will say, ‘I love you, dear cement! Please let us pass through your jinxes, allow us passage because you reciprocate my feelings to you!’ Oh, brother, the ground will harden almost immediately because of passion! I can see her heart beating from our kindness! Oh, brother, my brother, it shall make her weep tears of rock that would melt into a river of the soul! I see it, brother! It shall work, brother!” He was dancing in his reverie, nearly crying. “Oh, brother, my brother, sweet brother—BOEH!”

He collapsed on the ground, and Ichimatsu dropped his fist. “How about, ‘Brother, shut the eff up’.”

“Ugh, this sucks!” Todomatsu whined, tossing his paper away. “You’re all stupid and useless! Now I’m never gonna be able to look attractive enough for the new girl.” He buried his head in his arms on the table. “It’s hopeless for me. I need to be stuck with a bunch of ‘overgrown children’ until Atsushi sweeps her off her feet.”

“No.” Osomatsu stood up, all serious. Everyone looked at him. “There’s still hope. I think there’s one more thing we can do before we can say that we failed.”

Choromatsu lackadaisically suggested, “Request the construction workers for a way across?”

“Even better.” Osomatsu straightened his body, chin up, spine vertical. “Everyone. Off to the roof.”

Silence (...)...

“...eh?”

It was even louder on the roof than outside, because the entire view was there to present itself. The machines were huge, matted with soil and cement, some of the yellow on the bodies faded or whitened. Five of the six of them watched the entire thing with fearful anticipation, the giants in front of their house like dragons hovering over a field of lava. Whatever plan this Osomatsu-niisan of theirs had, it had better be worth it. Because so far, it looked like death was going to be the option here if it weren’t success.

“Boys,” Osomatsu announced, hands on his waist. “It’s time. Jyushimatsu, come here.”

Gulping, Jyushimatsu didn’t protest as he allowed himself to be led by his oldest brother, scarily close to the edge of the roof. Sweat ran down the sides of his face, his legs trembling in his discomfort. But he stayed there with his hands at his sides, staring straight and down towards the valley of Tartarus below.

“Karamatsu, come here,” Osomatsu instructed, and with the same worrisome posture Karamatsu stepped next to his eldest and fifth-born brother. “Karamatsu, go over Jyushimatsu’s shoulders.”

Karamatsu sputtered, and Choromatsu let out a “NO!” louder than the entire construction company combined.

But Choromatsu was ignored as Karamatsu timidly climbed onto Jyushimatsu’s back, and rested his thighs over Jyushimatsu’s shoulders. Both of them were perspired and horrified, already awaiting doom before a signal can even be clarified. Jyushimatsu clasped Karamatsu’s legs like it was giving him reassurance, but the threat of failure was still too strong for that.

“Ichimatsu, you next!” Osomatsu called out, and Ichimatsu greenly approached the building tower with his chin dipped and his eyes sullen. Internally, he was mouthing his last will and testament.

But he climbed nonetheless onto Karamatsu’s shoulders.

“Okay, my turn.” Osomatsu climbed onto Ichimatsu’s shoulders, and the weight began tugging down on Jyushimatsu as a wobble began to wrack their brother building. Hands grabbed legs, butts nestled tightly against napes, and lips went pressed as three of them stifled the screams that were growing in their throats.

“Choromatsu! You’re up!”

“This is dangerous, you idiot eldest!” Choromatsu reprimanded, arms wide for emphasis. “No more kidding—you’re literally trying to kill us!”

“Wouldn’t you die for Nyaa-chan?” Osomatsu inquired calmly.

Choromatsu was up over Osomatsu’s shoulders ten seconds later.

“Finally! Totty!”

On top of the tower, Todomatsu shook harshly as he grabbed the sides of Choromatsu’s head for dear life, legs intertwined over Choromatsu’s chest. Actually, most of them were like that. The only exception was the oldest brother, as determined as an eagle, staring straight through the obstacles separating him from making out with a beautiful gambling girl.

“Jyushimatsu, on three, run back, and then jump.”

“We’re gonna die,” Ichimatsu rasped with a plastic smile.

“Yup,” Karamatsu agreed in a tiny voice.

“On three, Jyushimatsu,” Osomatsu repeated, fiercer, and Jyushimatsu stepped back, all his brothers doing the same with the connections binding them in that formation. Jyushimatsu’s legs were shuddering. The pores on his skin were leaking.

“One...two...THREE!!!”

Eyes shut, Jyushimatsu made his run and jumped.

A few seconds later, at the other side of the gate, there were six bodies lying on the streets they’ve cracked, car horns roaring angrily in the traffic they caused.

~~~

Matsuyo tapped her feet. “I don’t think I need to scold you anymore. You know very well what you’ve done, right?” She crossed her arms, tilted her chin. “And because of that, there won’t be any more takoyaki. Not just because you absolutely don’t deserve it anymore, but because we can’t afford it.”

“Eh? Why not?” Osomatsu asked, then whimpered when he tried to move his head a little. With a full body cast matching those of his brothers’, there was no twitching a pinkie nor a strand of hair on the hospital beds.

“Not only because I have six sons confined with full body casts following surgery,” Matsuyo said madly, “but because of the damage! Not only did you break almost every bone in your body but you broke the road itself! There’s gonna be so much construction in front of our house now and guess what! We are the ones who need to pay for it!”

“Are we that fat?” Karamatsu sobbed.

“Think about what you did, you NEETs,” Matsuzo moaned, massaging his temples. “This didn’t just ruin our day with all these expenses. But your day too. Didn’t you all have anything better to do?” With that, Matsuzo and Matsuyo left the room, shutting the door behind them.

When they were completely gone, Jyushimatsu whimpered, “So...No dolphin show?”

“No cat...?” Ichimatsu followed up miserably.

“No clothes...?” Todomatsu wept.

“No Nyaa-chan...?!” Choromatsu cried.

“No date?!” Karamatsu tearfully yelled.

“No sexy-as-hell gambling babe?” Osomatsu whispered.

They all went quiet.

Then together, they all cried as one.

[musicprincess655]

“You know, I actually did have plans tonight.”

“Come on, Nori,” Kazuya whined, stealing Nori’s textbook. “Wouldn’t you rather hang out with me instead of studying...Advanced Macroeconomic Theory? What the fuck?”

“Some of us,” Nori said, snatching his textbook back, “have finals next week. I don’t have time to listen to you complain about how Kominato Ryousuke doesn’t have a soul.”

“I listen to you complain about your relationship problems all the time!”

“That implies I ever had a relationship.” Nori rolled his eyes. “I only complain to you because you’re the only person I know that’s as much of a virgin as me.”

“And because I’m your best friend.”

“Yeah, that too.” Nori opened his textbook again, but he obviously wasn’t concentrating. He groaned, turning back to where Kazuya sprawled across his bed. “Okay, yeah, it’s some shit that Ryou and Kuramochi pulled.”

“Right?” Kazuya said. “They’re supposed to be my best friends. We’re supposed to be a team.”

“I know.” Nori dropped his chin into his hand. “I’m really sorry, for what it’s worth. This sucks.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do,” Kazuya said. “I mean, they already didn’t want my help. What am I supposed to do, say ‘I won’t help you now’?”

“Exactly.” Nori sighed. “What can you do? It’s not like you can track down the Joker yourself to rub it in their faces.”

Kazuya sat up. Nori really was brilliant, and it was one of the reasons they’d been best friends since middle school.

“Kazuya, no, I was kidding.”

“I have to go.” Kazuya swung off Nori’s bed. He even had the perfect idea of where to start.

“You can’t go after the Joker by yourself,” Nori protested. “Isn’t the whole reason you paired up with Sawamura because you aren’t good at close fights?”

“So I make sure it doesn’t get close,” Kazuya waved Nori’s concerns aside. “I’ll see you later. Good luck on finals.”

“Kazuya!”

Kazuya paused. Nori didn’t often raise his voice, so when he did, it mattered.

Nori gave his textbook one more longing glance before he stood, shoving his wallet and keys in his pocket.

“If you’re gonna be stupid, you’re gonna do it with supervision,” he said. Kazuya grinned. That was the real reason he and Nori had been friends for so long, and why Nori knew so much about the secret lives of superheroes without being one.

Nori had the resolve to stay when almost no one else did.

“So what exactly is the plan?” Nori asked as they walked to the train station. “If the Joker can’t be tracked with all the Kominato technology, what can you do?”

“I might know someone who can get info the Kominatos can’t.”

Nori gave him a sideways look, but let it slide until they got to Kazuya’s dad’s house. At this hour, Miyuki Toku would be out on the streets as Green Arrow, so the house was deathly quiet.

Kazuya didn’t have the technology or the skills to track the Joker, at least not any better than Ryou could. But he did have something that Ryou didn’t.

A few weeks ago, he’d run into Cheshire, and he’d managed to shoot a tracker onto her costume. If it was still there, if he could find her again, she could be bought.

“Who are you tracking?” Nori asked.

“Ryou probably thinks having a villain’s daughter on his side will help,” Kazuya said. “I bet he forgot that Sportsmaster has two daughters.”

“Are you talking about Katsuko and Jade?” Nori asked.

“Yep.”

“Isn’t Jade...you know, kind of nuts?”

“Yep.” Shockingly, Cheshire’s tracker was still working, which meant she either hadn’t found it or was waiting to see what he’d do with it. “But she has connections, and she might be able to find something we can’t.”

“And you’re just going to go after someone you know is dangerous alone?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not really talking to anyone I’m willing to bring with me.”

Nori set his jaw.

“You’re talking to me,” he said, sitting down in front of Kazuya’s computer. “I can at least give you a heads up if you’re about to get a beatdown.”

Oh. Kazuya would never bring Nori into a dangerous situation, but this...this was fine. Better than fine.

“My comm. links up with this computer,” he said. “You can talk to me that way.”

“Gotcha.” Nori slipped a headset over his ears. “And Kazuya? Be careful.”

“Will do.”

Cheshire was, surprisingly enough, in Star City. Her business could take her just about anywhere in the world, but Kazuya was suspicious of her so close. It was all just a little too inconvenient.

The tracker led him to a rundown apartment building.

“Fire escape on the east side will get you right to the signal,” Nori said over the comm. Kazuya smiled. Nori was a natural at this. It was nice to have someone running mission control for him.

Kazuya hauled himself up the fire escape silently. If he had nothing else, he was good at getting to higher ground quickly and silently. It was a necessary skill for an archer.

He couldn’t see anyone when he got to the roof, and he was just about to he down into the building when he heard a throat clearing behind him. Kazuya whipped around to see Cheshire, face hidden behind her grinning cat mask, holding up two sai.

“I was wondering when you’d finally track me down,” she said, a smile obvious in her voice. “I was starting to think you’d stand me up.”

“Can we...maybe do this in Japanese?” Kazuya asked. His English wasn’t good enough for this conversation.

Cheshire stood, both knives dropping to her sides.

“Fine,” she said. “What do you want?”

“Information,” he replied. “I guess you know what happened to Robin.”

“I heard,” she said. “A shame. I liked this one. He was interesting.”

“We’re trying to find the Joker.”

“Revenge?” Kazuya could imagine the way her face lit up with a smile as she said it. “I thought that was just for us big, bad villains.”

“Would you let it slide if it happened to Artemis?”

“I thought you were all so much better than me.” She took off her mask, shaking out her hair. “This is stupid. I know my sister already told you everything about my family. You have me at a disadvantage, Arsenal. You know everything about me, and I don’t even know your name.”

“Can you find the Joker?” Kazuya asked, trying not to get derailed.

“Of course I can,” she scoffed. “The question is will I. Something this dangerous won’t come cheap.”

“So what do you want?” Kazuya asked. He had enough money to pay her off. Probably. Being the son of a billionaire had its perks.

“Well, money, obviously, but I want something more valuable too.” She stalked closer. “I want information from you too.”

“I’m not giving up anyone’s secret identities.”

“Oh, I figured you wouldn’t,” she waved her hand dismissively. “I just want yours.”

“That is such a bad idea.” Nori’s voice almost made Kazuya jump. He’d forgotten Nori was still there.

“My sister is so protective of her new little friends,” Cheshire continued. “I want to show her it’s all for nothing.”

“This is to piss off Artemis?”

“Partly.” Cheshire shrugged. “It’s mostly for the money. I’m an assassin for hire, after all. I just see an opportunity to get another thing I want.”

“Kazuya.”

“What?”

“Don’t you dare!”

“My name is Kazuya,” Kazuya repeated, pulling off his sports glasses.

“Kazuya.” His name almost purred out of her mouth, caught on the American accent. She took another step forward, and Kazuya suddenly realized she’d backed him up to the edge of the roof. “I’ll see what I can find. Give me a week, and I’ll find the Joker.”

“Just a week?” Kazuya asked. She leaned in farther, until their faces were only centimeters apart.

“You’ll know how to find me,” she said, lifting her hair to show where she’d hung the tracker on an earring. “In the meantime, sit tight, pretty boy.”

All of a sudden, she was gone, disappearing into the night as effortlessly as any of the Kominatos could.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Nori said in his ear.